I was leaving an event Sunday night in Montgomery, Alabama with an overflowing heart and pictures of faces running through my mind. I had looked into more than a few sets of eyes thirsty for MORE, and a few even asked.....
where do I go from here? I'm ready!
I was taken back by the atmosphere of the night. Women unveiled certainly! I could see a fresh glow around many of them and even a sparkle in their eyes. The words had not just been spoken, but obviously were taking root. Wow! You are such a GOOD GOD! Women are hungry...finally hungry enough to come head on with fear. Fear that keeps us bound up missing our life of fullness and freedom promised.
I always share my fear when I speak, and one of those fears was tied to my desperate need to people please. This need to "fit in" often superseded my desire to praise Him, without even realizing it. I was the girl that would pray that the crazy woman that raised her hands in church wouldn't sit next to me for fear of my own embarrassment. Heaven forbid they think I lift my hands too. LOL! And now I am her, except I lift my hands outside of "church" too. And some days lifting my hands isn't enough. Some days I want to dance before the Lord which is quite foreign to my theological upbringing. Ha:)
Freedom feels good though.....
and it is truly NOT about lifting hands or dancing or making others uncomfortable, but rather it is about finally being FREE from others expectations and opinions. If I feel led to lift my hands....I lift them or if I am led to sit on them, I'll do that too. It is about FREEDOM to worship how the Spirit prompts me, and it is true, the words of Psalms,
it births fullness that nothing else touches.
I will praise you, and I will lift my hands, and with that praise I become FULL.
I share all of this with you to answer the woman who looked so desperately in my eyes.....
there is so much to change and do differently, where do I begin?
Praise Him in the car and at home and while you are walking and as you go to bed and as you wake. He says that He inhabits the praises of His people, and I have learned that despite how much I really want to change, my "want to" will never be enough. He can, however, change me in an instant, if He pleases.
Too many people think that when you become a Christian you must automatically clean up! You can't cuss, smoke and drink anymore. Your movies have to change and your preferences have to change, and they set themselves up to fail, because in our best intentions we don't cut it.
But He does.
So I have learned that the more time I spend in His presence praising Him the things He desires to change, happen organically. I didn't tell myself to change the channel because I am Christian and I need to, but one day I was disgusted by what was on it and I gladly switched it and eventually turned it off. The company of certain people didn't feel right anymore or the atmosphere I was finding myself in was no longer enjoyable but more unsettling than anything. So I took a new step here or there and peace became my umpire.
He says out of the heart the mouth speaks, so my heart drenched in His praise organically became more full of goodness and kindness and love. My heart edified spoke edification to others.
Sweet friends, don't set your self up for failure, but seek passionately His Presence, because
He makes all things new!
We never will! He isn't here to give you a makeover, but a do over. I promise you that if you first, seek HIS PRESENCE, you will wake up one day and be surprised by the woman in the mirror.
Who is this woman I have become?
In His Wings,