7 Days of Seeding Prayer...Is there something you are missing?
On Monday I started a seven-day journey of seeding and believing for the harvest of prayers. If you read that post, you know my reasoning behind such a task with Pentecost Sunday approaching. However, if you missed it, you may want to go back to fully understand what brought me to this message today.
The messages and feedback that I received from Monday’s post made it obvious to me that many women are on their knees desperately hoping the prayers harvested are their own. Some are at the point of tossing in the towel. It’s too hard! I can hear the quivering voices as I read their emails, and it brings back freshly my own agony of trying so hard to be different, to be free, and yet feeling like I could never break out. My heart breaks as I read wishing I could offer something more. Some of the stories I know well, and as I prayed, I felt led to share what finally broke me free from a consistent battle that I see so many believers falling prey to.
I spent thirty-one years of my life claiming to be a “Christian.” What does that really mean? By definition, it means that we believe in the teachings of Jesus. I was sure that simply carrying that belief saved me from the eternal flames that I feared. I battled daily. I even read the Word, but no fruit came from it. While I believed in the Trinity, I had enthroned them all in eternity. God was seated at His mighty throne with Jesus on the right and the Holy Spirit might as well have been on His left. Their existence was kept at a distance. I was doing a Bible Study when I first encountered John 14:21, and the words touched something deep in my soul. I suppose they fell on primed soil, because instead of racing past them, as usual, I stopped.
My first thought was, why doesn’t my life align to this? I didn’t know Him or feel Him and I certainly didn’t see Him. Realizing something was missing, I began to seek Him passionately. A desperate heart in desperate times, I sought to see Him. I also prayed fervently that He would give me a heart to love Him, because I wasn’t sure that I even knew how to love Him.
I have to admit that at first I took the words as law, and I sought to keep His commands. I lived on a nauseating roller coaster of self-righteousness and guilt. He’s proud. He’s disappointed. I have arrived. I have failed. I was dying to get off the ride, so I decided to get away and seek.
I prayed to hear Him, because I wasn’t sure that I did, and while I was away, it happened. I suppose some of us have to literally shut the world out to silence all other voices, and that was I. He was faithful and though at first it caught me by surprise, I did hear the whisper....will you speak this to her? She was a beautiful young girl keeping to herself, and it was obvious that she wanted to be alone, so I wrestled a little before I delivered His words. Her look said it all. How did you know? I was almost frozen in awe knowing the Holy Spirit was guiding me. It happened again, and again. Speak this to her with the green shirt, and this to the woman almost wiping her tears with her hair. I became an anxious vessel ready to be poured out. As I saw the faces of women light up with His words, I knew that this was what I had been missing. The more I sought to hear and to be used, the more He used me. He uses us all...anyone willing.
The more aware I became of the Holy Spirit in me, the more I longed to be taught and used. Without even trying, I began to change. My “want to” changed. My nature changed. My vision changed. There aren’t words for how much my heart changed. I had tried all of my life to be different, and I know now that we don’t have that power. I also know now that He does.
Perhaps, all of the “things” we cry out for and have been seeding in prayer need to be placed at the altar in a posture of surrender? Perhaps what we need during this celebration of Pentecost is a fresh outpouring of the Spirit that empowers us to live out this life fully, as He intended.
The followers of Jesus believed and were baptized; yet they still waited for Him to return with the source of power that would enable them to live out their calling. If you realize that something is missing in your spiritual life, would you spend the rest of our seven days seeking for God to show Himself to you? I am always on a journey for more, so I walk with you asking our Father to take us to a new level of faith with a bold spirit that unleashes a life of power that leads others to His Kingdom.
I dare you...
In His Wings,