Teaching our girls to embrace who they are...BeYOUtiful!


I have a heart for young girls!  A season spent in a middle schools stirred my soul to fight for her. Until then I didn't know how deeply her identity was tied to social media, handbags and followings. I didn't know the weary face of a girl who spent all weekend knowing she had been left out because things that were once hidden are now on full display. Wasn't it enough to wrestle with a changing body and hormones and boys without all of this added technology stirred identity crises???  And now I am raising her....the teenage girl trying to find herself amidst everything vying to define her.

The momma tiger in me wants to fight for them! And I know we have to! I set out to host an event at our church to reach the girls in our city. So I googled away my days trying to find something that I could glean from that would be relevant and fun yet stirring of her spirit. I have been the speaker that shows up to pour in truth to these girls, but the role of pulling it all together was new for me. So I continued my search. I probed their little minds, but everything I first suggested was too young or "out" or not attractive enough to bring them in. So I kept searching until I found...... nothing! Yes, NOTHING!!!  Though I admit that creating the balance of fun, relevant and spirit stirring was a challenge, I ultimately found that it was possible! Our event was a hit, and because it went over so well, I felt led to put it out her for the next leader, mother or pastor's wife looking for something to knit her girls' hearts to His!

Esther became the focus of our event. She was beautiful. She was brave. She believed. She became His bride and ultimately she stood for the good that saved her nation. Oh how we need a revival of the Esther spirit, right? So it became the heart of our event...release the Esther Anointing!

Our element of fun came when we recruited some of our local boys to serenade them with ....One Direction's "Just The Way You Are" to launch the event. Success!!! ( I think the boys enjoyed it too:))


After they were serenaded by our guys, they were led in worship by one of young girls Jurnee because I do everything with worship!!!! I introduced the evening by giving pieces of the Esther story and her calling "For such a time as this!" She was an orphan. She was a Jew in a nation that persecuted her people. She was one of 400-4000 that had the potential to be the Queen based on her "packaging," but no doubt she was the least expected!  Yet, she was the one chosen! Why not you?

The girls were led from our opening ceremony to 4 different rooms in our church where they would rotate to hear more about Esther and be challenged to become a modern day Esther!

BElieve.........In this room, we dared them to dream!!!! In one day Esther goes from orphan to Queen. Did you know that the life of Esther was so powerful that it was banned from being read in Nazi prison camps? It had and still does have the power to liberate people. It wasn't the story of one girl, but our story of how our identity changes when we encounter our King! There are no boundaries when we step into our inheritance as daughters! After sharing this with the girls we put on worship music and gave them space to dream! What would you do or who would you be if you truly believed that you were His Daughter? (We let them write and paint on our walls and floors because we created this space out of an empty storage room. You could hang paper on the walls to do the same or give them paper to take home or a journal?)


Be His Bride.....

We shared in this session how our hearts are made for great love. We explored our heart desire as little girls to be the princess and even as bigger girls our desire to become the bride as evidenced by our Pinterest boards;) This desire is valid, but it is often misplaced. We gave them scripture references to show that our hearts are knit for great love (Ecc 3:11 & Romans 5:5). We had this room set up like a bridal suite with wedding dresses and blankets covered in rose petals. We gave them love notes to read as they asked Him to reveal His love to them. We also wove in the portion of Esther's story showing how she sought the King's heart not simply the splendor of His kingdom. Intimacy comes when we seek God's heart over what He gives us, and this great love can never be replaced by "him."

This was taken before the rose petals and dresses were added, but I can't seem to find the final pic,so just an idea!

This was taken before the rose petals and dresses were added, but I can't seem to find the final pic,so just an idea!

Be Brave.....

This was also an element of fun we added! Our leader, Lindsey, shared the bravery of Esther. She stood up for her people when it could have cost not only her crown but her life. Her standing out didn't make her less popular but rather it positioned her for royalty. It also positioned her to save her people! Are we shrinking back to be safe or fit in? What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?

After they were challenged to be brave, we put on music and had the girls stand all on one side of a line. The goal was to get your whole team to the other side of the room, but to get there you must go alone performing your own dance. As much as kids today "whip and nae nae," you would have thought it would have been an easy challenge, but insecurities rose as they were called out alone. Ultimately they cheered each other across and went together as a team. This activity is interesting because it shows how we fear things that often can be great fun if we just try!

Be The Good.....

Esther spent 12 months preparing for her encounter with the King. She was detoxed for 6 months in fragrance that would purify her skin and body. The second 6 months she would be fragranced so that she would leave a heavenly aroma. Stephanie shared some of her story and seasons of her life that left different aromas, but how when she met Jesus her aroma changed. People can notice that she is His by just being around her and taking in her fragrance. Like Esther we leave an aroma. What aroma are you leaving behind and what aroma would you like to leave? We found aroma therapy bracelets on Pinterest that we copied for this room. We mixed our beads with clay beads that we made in advance to hold the fragrance. We offered several essential oil flavors so the girls could make their bracelet based on what aroma they wanted to leave behind. (Valor, Joy, Believe, Anointing, etc..)This room had the feel of a spa! We had soft lighting, ocean music and the smell of lavender!

In the closing ceremony, we finished with Be FREE!  I wrapped up this day of claiming that God is calling us out as modern day Esthers. We have this amazing inheritance and everything we need in Christ to stand as she did. Our intent was to show each girl that Esther's beauty was far deeper than her packaging. She sought His heart, she risked her life for her people, she believed in something bigger and she was willing to be used. While we have this amazing inheritance, we must know that we can block our blessings. The Jewish believed that the greatest block to the blessings of God is something called Loshon Hora.....the power of life and death in your tongue. Could we with our words be cutting off our blessing? Could we be wounding the girl in our mirror with careless words that don't align to our inheritance? Kingdom living offers no place for gossip! ( A truth every teenage girl and her mom needs right?? Yikes!)

Keys are hanging from the dress above!

Keys are hanging from the dress above!

In closing, we asked the girls to pray for an Esther Anointing with their groups! We challenged them to be world changers and we had them come forward to accept their Kingdom Calling. We made keys with words we engraved on them like loved, blessed, chosen, purposed, joy! (Engraving tools at Hobby Lobby.) We used keys from a local store that gave us their keys that were not usable to save on money. We glittered one side and engraved the other. Our leadership team prayed over the necklaces that the Spirit would guide them specifically to the girls that needed their word. Each room leader came forward and she gave each girl a key and spoke into her You have been called for a Time such as This! Your King is calling you to receive that you are ........ (Loved, Blessed, Chosen, Joyful, Purposed....Keys exchanged!)

After all the girls all were given their keys and blessings, we put back on our song proclaiming..... You are amazing just the way you are!

Youth leader praying over girls!

Youth leader praying over girls!

Of course, you must have a photo booth!!!

Of course, you must have a photo booth!!!

Obviously, this is not my typical blog, but I would be remissed if I didn't share what we found to resonate with girls that really are a challenge to meet where they are! Even our moms found some freedom from our event to dream and step in to something higher! I would be happy to lead your next girl's event or give further details if your church would like to host their own BeYOUtiful event!

Be blessed as you prepare for 2016! It will be a year to FLOURISH!!! (Psalm 92:12)

In His Grip,


For Speaking Inquiries Contact Darlene Grieme: darlene@stoneislandgroup.com

For Details Email: Rochelle@rochellefrazier.com