Living with Intention....
It gets away from us if we aren't intentional....life that is. I know I have dreamed away on Pinterest tagging away all the things I hope to do when I find time. My tummy always groans for the feast before my eyes I find there, but who has time for anything with more than 5 ingredients, right? So we settle for something simple instead of something savory and I file the recipe away in one day....one day when I'm not so busy. So my little boys get what's quick today, but this time they eat double and I realize they aren't little boys but more like little men.....their pants are shrinking, they smell and they eat alot! Heaven help me! Our oldest daughter calls to share with excitement the details of her Senior internship at LSU. She will be a senior in college and our youngest daughter will be a freshman in high school, seriously where has time slipped by? Yikes!!! My heart has longed to take this whole crew on a summer mission trip, because I want my children to experience a life outside of excess and have a grateful heart in a culture that otherwise deceives them to believe that they are entitled. I want them to see Jesus in a way that can only be seen when you are giving your life away. This was my heart desire of our summer, and it's April, really?
Does it every get easier? Is it possible to find balance? Can time stand still?
Frustrated, I decide to take back the reins on my life, and I vow to a few No Longers. I will no longer have a life that demands the response busy or tired when someone ask, "How are you?" I will no longer allow my relationship with my phone to replace faces and voices. I will no longer let someone's expectation for their family define mine. I will no longer miss the sacred because of a system that sends you spinning. I will no longer fall prey to an anxious spirit, because that is not who I am and I am believing God for all things. I will stop and savor moments.....
There are moments that I love my life....moments I can't even comprehend that this is my life and this is where I choose to abide. Moments of speaking into the lives of women their destiny and identity. Moments of stopping to read on my back porch. Moments of playing Phase 10 with my children around the kitchen table. Moments of making a mess in my kitchen because I tried to outdo Southern Living's featured work of art. Moments of dancing old school moves with kids trying to show them that loving Jesus is fun too. Moments of handing a cupcake to the child that was truly hungry or rubbing lotion on the woman whose arms desperately need to be touched. Moments of watching my little man give his only quarter for gum to the little girl who asked if he had one extra and realizing those nights we missed our bed time to further discuss Jesus Calling were worth it. Moments of worship where the presence of God is so tangible chills cover my body. Moments praying over streets my God sized dreams with the love of my life.
We could all list those moments where we feel most alive. Moments that evoke a deeper joy that causes us to smile as we remember. We may have to dig a little because life has taken away our ability to dream or laugh or dance, but those moments are there even if they are hidden.
I suppose the question we must stop to ask is why are we doing all that we are doing? Could we get real with ourselves, if no one else, and dissect our heart motives? What is going on in this heart of mine that sends me to live in spin cycle?
Can I trade in busyness for something more meaningful or something trivial for something eternal?
Determined to see my why, I sat at my table and poured out my heart over my busy life on a 24" roll of Kraft paper because the 8 x11 just didn't work....(There's your sign...in the words of my teenager.) I did some hard digging exposing roots to my own insanity, and
I resolved to love my life not be taken out by it.
This means that I make space for moments that I know feed my soul, stir my spirit and position my family for what has eternal significance.
I wonder, as you read, if you are longing for a more meaningful life too?
I wonder what drives your why???? Can you be honest with Him?
Do we find ourselves going in a million directions chasing children's schedules because we have such pressure to fit in instead of seeding them with truth that has eternal impact on their soul?
Do we live at the ballpark or school or theater, because a parent never showed up and we vow to never miss an event even if there are hundreds, because we would rather be the "Super" mom than deal with the root of rejection that has driven most of our life?
Do we serve where we are serving because it positions us or our children for recognition or because it helps us meet that need to perform or because we have been called?
Do we keep offering our time even though we are fully extended because it is easier than being alone with ourselves or perhaps we have an issue with control we can't seem to recognize?
Do we have an ache that nothing seems to meet, so we just keep piling on "things" instead of surrendering to the one thing that meets the ache of a woman's heart?
Do we throw ourselves into a career to provide needs we don't really need in exchange for the real need of presence and love and touch in our homes?
The truth is that we all have motives, but the overriding motive must be LOVE!
We show up out of love. We give out of love. We serve out of love. We step out because of a Greater Love. We surrender to a Greater Love. We can even say no because of love. As we love, something happens out of that love...the fullness of the Greatest Love begins to be made complete in us (Ephesians 3:19) and there we finally realize even with a plate empty we can have a life that is full.
He says we find our lives when we lose it, and perhaps it is time to get lost!
He promises He gives life that is full.....it's worth risking everything to become the very thing you are called to be. Don't take the bait that life has to remain as is and your response will always be ...I'm just so busy! This is your life....live it out!
Love Your Life,