Hello Sweet Friends,
Devotional Diva asked that I share my story with her audience, and since some of you are new to my blog, I decided to post it here as well:) I encourage you to visit Renee at Devotional Diva.
Is it possible to arrive at the place where you stop asking....Is there more? Should I be more? Is it possible that your restless heart could actually find rest right where you are? Satisfied?
I dare to say "Yes!"
I don't have the story of overcoming an addiction or a broken, battered, and abused childhood. I not only grew up in church, but you could find me there whenever the doors were open. My story was more on the line of the over-achieving, people-pleasing perfectionist. Everything in order and perfectly decorated, even my children. From the outside, it appeared I had it all. And according to the "American Gospel," I had every reason to believe that I did. You know the gospel that teaches us to be all that we can be, to own, possess, and claim what is ours, to climb a ladder that is placed on the wrong mountain and burst through the ceiling that has no eternal significance. And do it our way! This same spirit even carried into the way I served the church.
So when my perfectly orchestrated life left me empty searching for something More, I had no idea it was Him that I was missing. I had it all together, right? Believing I was spiritually full, I offered my little tea cup to the world asking... will you fill me?
But it didn't come as I expected being a wife or a mother. Nor through my perfectly decorated home waiting on Southern Living to arrive. Nor from improving my figure or my social agenda. Nor from becoming the top of my industry.
And then when my perfect little world came crashing down in 2006, broken and believing irredeemable, I turned to the very things I had avoided in my pursuit of perfection to see if they would fill me. But nothing satisfied the deep longing of my soul. And then I finally came to the end of me, and because I needed God so desperately I would finally fill the calling of Jeremiah 29....not the one that I had worn on t-shirts and pasted on journals claiming that HE HAS PLANS FOR ME, but the rest of the verse that says
When you seek with your whole heart, I will be found. And bring you back from captivity.
I was praying for captives. Quick to point out the captives. I had even prayed for God to open a door so that I might visit the captives in Africa. And then reality hit that I was a captive. My heart would become restless trying free other captives who, like me, bought into the wrong gospel.
So how did I come to this place?
There was a year that changed my life. Our community was devastated by Hurricane Katrina, a few months later I would be diagnosed with congestive heart failure delivering twins, and while seeking to beat all odds against me, I would become a single mom. I was told I may never work again, and with my three precious angels and a healing heart, I offered up a prayer....
Would you give me an idea that would change my life?
And He did. I began writing what is now the children's series, Sweeteas, and these precious little characters would absolutely change my life. However, what truly changed me was that He answered that prayer.
A collision with the fully present God who I had enthroned in eternity wrecked my life. I was never to be the same. He became a reality and my life had to adjust to the true Gospel. The Gospel that says.... you will find your life when you lose it (Matthew 10:39). And I did!
Sweet friends, your heart has tasted eternity (Ecc 3:11). It will be restless until you return to His love. But when you do, you will find that the longing of your weary soul is SATISFIED!